Posts tagged ‘dating’

September 17, 2010

Pinots and No No’s…

Have you ever not taken great advice from someone because of who they were or how they behaved? I heard some really great advice a while ago from a total douche (who managed to display his douchebaggery in a mere 3 hours), but what he said rejuvenated my passion for happiness and success. You see I have a problem. While my problem is rectifiable, it won’t be repaired overnight or necessarily in a few weeks. It could take several years to fix, and at this point I don’t feel as though I have that much time. My problem is I’m late. I’m late in life. I’m late in everything. As a matter of fact, I was late to work today. I was late graduating from college, late figuring out what I wanted to do for a career and thus, late figuring out how to accomplish the task. Sprinkle in a few obstacles like being laid off twice, becoming pregnant and then being underemployed and you have the story of my life. This not only sucks for a person who values being on time, but really puts a strain on my new-found positive outlook on life.  This shouldn’t matter, but I look around and see many of my comrades with no kids, undergrad and grad degrees, exciting careers, married, traveling, shopping, and living in super sexy homes. We’re all the same age and I have accomplished 1 out of the 8 things listed. You see? I’m late. So at this point I’m constantly networking, working part-time jobs to gain experience in my field and volunteering. Although this is the happiest I’ve been in a really long time because of all the free time I’ve had to volunteer and hang with the kid, it doesn’t cancel out the financial stress that often rears its ugly head.

So fast forward a bit, I decided to go to sushi rock after work one evening (I didn’t have the kid with me and I felt pretty, so I definitely needed to be seen). While sipping on a glass of wine and waiting for an amazing dish called beef sushi, this guy sits next to me. He was short in stature but his style of dress compensated for his lack of height. We talked for a while and he didn’t hold back on disclosing to me personal information such as his age (35), new job, six figure salary, homes, cars,  nice suits blah, blah, blah. I tell him how I recently graduated with a BA in Psychology and how I’d love to start my non profit organization but it’s been difficult because I’m late.  In a nutshell, he then explains to me, a 25-year-old (undergrad) graduate with no formal experience, how I’m not late,  that I really did have plenty of time to accomplish all of my goals, that I should take my time and in 10 years probably less I will have accomplished everything that I wanted. He then used his self as an example saying he was 35 and just now made it and was looking forward to the new opportunities awaiting him.  I thought about all the teenagers that I’ve spoken to in the past, telling them not to rush to become an adult and enjoy their youth and I felt like a silly 18-year-old who couldn’t wait for her first sip of alcohol. I pictured myself at 30-35, recently married, traveling the world with all of my degrees, with a 6 figure salary and it didn’t seem so bad. I mean 40 apparently is the new 20 if you ask Demi Moore, Halle Berry, and  Jennifer Aniston so I could definitely do it at 30 right?  I know he didn’t say anything super amazing that I didn’t already know, so I apologize if I got you excited but it’s just no one has ever explained it to a person like me with my situation. You know, someone who’s late.

So at that moment, and not at the disclosure of his salary, home, car, or his promises to pay my bills and buy me nice things, is when I began to think “Hmmm, this guy might be kind of cool, and I might like him enough to let him take me out again”. The 4 drinks he bought kind of helped also, but not enough to make me go home with him on the first night or a year from then. When I turned down his offer to drive me home, (yea right) he decided to rudely excuse his self from the table and leave me to marinate in my increasing drunkenness. Ok, I’ll be honest, the six figure salary did make him an itty, bitty, tiny bit more attractive and tall but it definitely didn’t change my morals and values. And although I’m pretty confident he didn’t have good intentions that night, I was able to gain reassurance about my status in life once again.

After waking up the following evening, I was able to reflect on what I had learned the previous day, which was definitely cause for a toast:

“To friends, especially the ones who answer their phones before the pinot fully kicks in”