Posts tagged ‘douchebaggery’

November 2, 2010

Gato Negro

A few weeks ago a black man was killed by the police. It’s unfortunate because a man lost his life and someone lost their son, boyfriend, cousin, nephew, and friend. When we hear these stories in the black community one word comes to mind. Racism. When I heard the story I thought wow, why would they shoot and kill him? I later found out this particular young man was the same person who robbed several banks in the area with a gun, so when the police came to arrest him, of course he ran. They opened fire when he went into his pocket to grab what turned out to be something that wasn’t a gun. Do we still think the police are racist? Or was this young man living a life that eventually led to his demise?

There is a trend of black people crying race in situations that are not race related. There’s a larger epidemic of black people crying race in situations when the black person involved was wrong. According to the theory, black men are held at a higher standard but they clearly aren’t living up to it. Without starting a dialogue about slavery and its impact on the african american community today, the facts remain we have opportunities that didn’t exist 50 years ago. The days of physical racism are over black men. You can make choices. You can choose to get an education, you can choose to not rob a bank, you can choose to be inconvenienced by doing what’s right and not what comes easier.

A debate ensued recently after Lebron stated he thinks race played a part in him being scrutinized so harshly by the media. I know an idiot who had made the same comments on Facebook so when Lebron came out with his statement, that added fuel to the fire. This guy is the type who had an estimated 10.7 status updates per week complaining about how “his life is so hard because he’s black, black men are the most hated and most feared, black men have to work harder because they’re black and if you’re not a black man then you can’t comment because you’re not black and don’t understand since you’re not black”. Frustrating right? So when he de-friended me for sharing my opinion I was like sweet! one less loser status update popping up on my news feed.

I’ve made several observations about this particular type of black man because I’ve met several in my lifetime. They typically:

1. don’t complete their education

2.don’t have/can’t keep a job

3.don’t respect women

4.make excuses when things don’t work in their favor

The young man wasn’t shot and killed because of his history with armed robbery and drugs, Lebron wasn’t scrutinized because of his douchetastic decision-making skills, and the facebook idiot is an unemployed, wanna-be singer not because of his unfinished education and lack of talent  but yes you guessed it! Because they’re black.

I believe we still deal with institutionalized racism but no one is taking our fathers from our homes and tying them to railroad tracks anymore. Statistically speaking, black men have a pretty sucky start at life! But it’s 2010 militant, black man, get over yourself and get an education. “The Man” isn’t waiting at the doors of Harvard, or your local community college/trade school with fire hoses waiting to hose down the next negro who looks thirsty. So what are you waiting for? Ok, ok maybe college isn’t for everyone, but at least get a clue, a plan and a job. Sigh…ok, ok maybe working isn’t for everyone either. So if you decide to rob a bank, sell drugs, and for those who do work, humiliate an entire city by going on national television to tell them you quit after we waited 3 months for your decision, at least recognize that death, jail sentences and scrutiny will follow because of  poor choices, not racism.

Lebron posed a good question, What should he do? What should we do as a race? He mentioned something about disappearing, which I think sounds like a fabulous idea! Anyone named Lebron and everyone who makes excuses for their poor decisions can disappear, then we’ll be one step closer to peace. I’ll be honest with you though, he probably won’t disappear. He’ll probably more than likely come out with another aggravating statement and/or commercial in another month or so. Then everyone will get worked up and angry and will say stuff like “oh Lebron is so stupid and ugly and insensitive and we hate him so much” and the cycle continues. Black men will sell drugs, rob banks, not seek employment or education, make babies and be poor examples to their children while blaming “The Man” and that cycle will continue as well. I say we end both cycles now and all it takes is one glass of wine.

I propose a toast to the death of excuses and Lebron’s Nike ad!


September 17, 2010

Pinots and No No’s…

Have you ever not taken great advice from someone because of who they were or how they behaved? I heard some really great advice a while ago from a total douche (who managed to display his douchebaggery in a mere 3 hours), but what he said rejuvenated my passion for happiness and success. You see I have a problem. While my problem is rectifiable, it won’t be repaired overnight or necessarily in a few weeks. It could take several years to fix, and at this point I don’t feel as though I have that much time. My problem is I’m late. I’m late in life. I’m late in everything. As a matter of fact, I was late to work today. I was late graduating from college, late figuring out what I wanted to do for a career and thus, late figuring out how to accomplish the task. Sprinkle in a few obstacles like being laid off twice, becoming pregnant and then being underemployed and you have the story of my life. This not only sucks for a person who values being on time, but really puts a strain on my new-found positive outlook on life.  This shouldn’t matter, but I look around and see many of my comrades with no kids, undergrad and grad degrees, exciting careers, married, traveling, shopping, and living in super sexy homes. We’re all the same age and I have accomplished 1 out of the 8 things listed. You see? I’m late. So at this point I’m constantly networking, working part-time jobs to gain experience in my field and volunteering. Although this is the happiest I’ve been in a really long time because of all the free time I’ve had to volunteer and hang with the kid, it doesn’t cancel out the financial stress that often rears its ugly head.

So fast forward a bit, I decided to go to sushi rock after work one evening (I didn’t have the kid with me and I felt pretty, so I definitely needed to be seen). While sipping on a glass of wine and waiting for an amazing dish called beef sushi, this guy sits next to me. He was short in stature but his style of dress compensated for his lack of height. We talked for a while and he didn’t hold back on disclosing to me personal information such as his age (35), new job, six figure salary, homes, cars,  nice suits blah, blah, blah. I tell him how I recently graduated with a BA in Psychology and how I’d love to start my non profit organization but it’s been difficult because I’m late.  In a nutshell, he then explains to me, a 25-year-old (undergrad) graduate with no formal experience, how I’m not late,  that I really did have plenty of time to accomplish all of my goals, that I should take my time and in 10 years probably less I will have accomplished everything that I wanted. He then used his self as an example saying he was 35 and just now made it and was looking forward to the new opportunities awaiting him.  I thought about all the teenagers that I’ve spoken to in the past, telling them not to rush to become an adult and enjoy their youth and I felt like a silly 18-year-old who couldn’t wait for her first sip of alcohol. I pictured myself at 30-35, recently married, traveling the world with all of my degrees, with a 6 figure salary and it didn’t seem so bad. I mean 40 apparently is the new 20 if you ask Demi Moore, Halle Berry, and  Jennifer Aniston so I could definitely do it at 30 right?  I know he didn’t say anything super amazing that I didn’t already know, so I apologize if I got you excited but it’s just no one has ever explained it to a person like me with my situation. You know, someone who’s late.

So at that moment, and not at the disclosure of his salary, home, car, or his promises to pay my bills and buy me nice things, is when I began to think “Hmmm, this guy might be kind of cool, and I might like him enough to let him take me out again”. The 4 drinks he bought kind of helped also, but not enough to make me go home with him on the first night or a year from then. When I turned down his offer to drive me home, (yea right) he decided to rudely excuse his self from the table and leave me to marinate in my increasing drunkenness. Ok, I’ll be honest, the six figure salary did make him an itty, bitty, tiny bit more attractive and tall but it definitely didn’t change my morals and values. And although I’m pretty confident he didn’t have good intentions that night, I was able to gain reassurance about my status in life once again.

After waking up the following evening, I was able to reflect on what I had learned the previous day, which was definitely cause for a toast:

“To friends, especially the ones who answer their phones before the pinot fully kicks in”